


Four Times Siwon Saved Donghae, and The One Time He Didn't

by neolithics



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:16:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neolithics/pseuds/neolithics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Siwon saved Donghae, and the one time he didn't. A WonHae vignettes series. (4/5)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [leagueoffish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/leagueoffish/gifts).



> For my bestie, leagueoffish, who is my reliable source of all things K-Pop to make stressful days a llittle better. (Though she has to remind me of the names and point out faces from time to time. Memory of a goldfish, soz!) Hope you enjoy it my man!

_ One time, on one of their first trips, en route to Shanghai: _

Donghae woke to the sound of banging and clattering loud and close to his ear. He shifted his eye mask to investigate, only to be blinded by a stab of light from the small airline screen. The snotty character of Lee Young-jae scowled at him, frozen halfway through an episode of Full House. Donghae swore quietly and punched at the power button.  
  
On the short list of things that Donghae _really_ hated—underlined, bolded, and with crabby _emoji's_ for emphasis—aeroplanes were the undisputed number one.

Aeroplanes were first for several obvious reasons, like time zones; packed food; uncomfortable seats; air pockets that kept him awake most of the flight. Leaving loved ones behind, most of all, and the dark thought of never seeing them again, ever. Donghae would do anything to wake up in a proper bed, eat home-cooked breakfast and take baths that devolve to the members’ arse-thwacking and roughhousing with wet towels, which usually concluded with Eunhyuk slipping comically arse over tit. He even missed the sore sight of Sungmin’s garishly pink bunk bed, back at the dorm.  
  
He had complained once, on one of the longer flights to London. Five hours into the flight, Donghae was determined to steal a parachute, leap out the plane into the ocean, and swim the rest of the way to Europe. Leeteuk immediately raised a warning finger. ‘Don’t start putting on airs, Lee Donghae,’ he said sternly. And that was that.  
  
If there was anything to remotely enjoy about the trip, it was the presence of Choi Siwon. Siwon always found ways to distract him, usually with ridiculous stories on the life of the ultra-rich and famous, but even he was dead to the world at the moment. Swathed in blankets, his Spiderman-travel-socks-covered-toes peeking from the hem, and face burrowed in a nest of two small airline pillows without displacing an inch of his perfectly gelled hair, Siwon was a picture of homely comfort and serenity. Donghae even spotted a drying trace of spit at the corner of Siwon’s mouth.  
  
'Totally not fair,' Donghae muttered, but he couldn't help the fond smile that sneaked past his lips.  
  
Then the plane suddenly lurched downward.

Donghae squeaked, and instinctively grabbed at the nearest solid object—at the time, Siwon’s arm—and held on with a white-knuckled grip.  
  
Siwon grunted, and opened a bleary eye. ‘Wuh?’ He asked bewilderedly, his voice rough with sleep.  
  
Donghae quickly released Siwon’s arm, embarrassed by his childish reaction. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, blushing. ‘Turbulence. Go back to sleep.’  
  
Siwon regarded him momentarily through slitted eyes. Then, with a sigh, he reached over the armrest and held Donghae’s hand. ‘S’gonna be alright,’ Siwon mumbled, his eyes slipping close again. Not a minute passed when Siwon’s breathing evened out once more.  
  
Donghae stared at the hand clasped around his. He should feel like an idiot, he thought, being a grown man still in need of a hand to hold. Hyujkae would certainly never let him hear the end of it. They _were_ lovely hands, though. Large, warm and generous, like they were made to protect. It certainly helped Donghae feel calmer.

Considering they were still stuck in a tin box, six miles up in air, the feat was nothing short of a miracle.  
  
‘You’re amazing, bodyguard-oppa,’ Donghae grinned, and warmly squeezed Siwon’s hand.

*

At some point during their fifteen-city tour for Super Show 2, Donghae finally overcame his fear of flying. (He didn’t think it possible to grow accustomed to a plane plunging several feet without warning, but he eventually did.)

Siwon, however, would still reach over to hold Donghae’s hand, even without Donghae asking him to.

So Donghae happily took the hand that was given, and decided not to tell.


	2. Chapter 2

_ Another time, during their winter shoot in Gangwon-do: _

It was great fun at that time, Donghae recalled.

Finally, after a whole week of unabated snowstorms, they had been let out. Like little children, the Super Junior members thundered out the door and onto the frosty Gangwon-do wintertime. They collectively gasped upon seeing the pristine layer of snow that covered their cabin, stretching up to the majestic ski slopes that overlooked the city of Pyeongchang-eup. Around them were pockets of trees that shone like glass, the ice on the branches formed and sculpted into intricate canopies.

(Shindong may have gotten too carried away as he sounded a mighty yell and dove straight into a pile of powder-fine snow, to Leeteuk’s great horror.)

But it truly was an image for the postcards. Or, as Manager-hyung excitedly exclaimed, one for the next Super Junior photobook.

The weather that day was a freezing 4°C, but Donghae was kept comfortably warm by his woolly jumper, two layers of underclothing, and the thick, sheepskin gloves Siwon gave him for the trip (a conciliatory gift, for bailing on the members for a drama shoot  _over the holidays,_ that workhorse.) So when someone—probably Kangin—yelled for the inevitable ‘SNOWBALL FIIIIGHT!’, Donghae gamely packed a snowball, and waged war.

It was great fun at that time, Donghae lamented, until Hyukjae winded him with an incapacitating close-range strike, caught him by the arms, and cackled as Kangin shoved several snowballs down his jumper and undershirts. Donghae had yelled like a climax of a horror film as the freezing ice sluiced down his back and soaked his clothes.

Donghae sneezed, and sniffled soundly at the memory.

Unsurprisingly, the aftermath included violent sneezing fits and a leaking nose, which caused Donghae’s eyes and face to redden and swell to a splotchy mess.They had a series of photoshoots scheduled for the next three days, and Donghae used all his willpower to move with sore, stiff joints—moderately successful with slow, elderly-like shuffling—but Heechul took one quick look at him and grappled him back to bed.

(Donghae was slightly consoled when he heard Leeteuk yelling hell at the perpetrators, a few minutes later.)

He managed a cheerful grin as the members fussed over him, the photoshoot momentarily forgotten, until their irate manager stormed into Donghae’s room and threatened to cut their off-days by half if they dallied any longer. The members, however, compensated for their absence quite generously, with a day’s ration of packaged breads and ready-to-heat soups, several cartons of milk, and a steaming mug of honey lemon tea.

They left Donghae warm, fed and comfortable—and then completely, wretchedly alone.

Donghae closed his eyes, and hoped sleep could relieve both his fever and the gnawing pit in his chest—the ache he hated most, and one that he knew had no easy cure.

*

Hyukjae’s smug, idiotic face was the last thing Donghae saw before a massive snowball was lobbed at his own, catching him squarely by the jaw. He yelped girlishly at the sensation of coolness against his cheek.

Donghae opened his eyes.

There were no snowballs, and no Hyukjae; only a fever patch, the one Kyuhyun had stuck on his forehead this morning. Apparently, it had slipped off, and wedged itself between the pillow and his face, pressed damp and cold against his cheek. 

He reached for his phone, its rapid blinking a nervous warning of the messages that had accumulated. He opened the most recent message—a short, stern reminder from Heechul:

_Eat something for lunch!_

Which Donghae rolled his eyes at, though his stomach growled agreeably at the suggestion. He scrolled down, past the short, well-wishing messages from other SM idols, then stopped when a familiar name caught his eye.

 **Choi Siwon:**  
_Heard you got sick!!! Tough luck, fishy._  
_Hyuk promised they left you a whole fridge of food. Still a bit worried.  
_ _We’ll get Hyuk and Kangin next time!_

Donghae’s grin was ear-to-ear as he quickly typed out a reply:

 **Me:**  
_You’re such a worrywart. I feel better already_ ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

His phone tinkled a few minutes later. Siwon had sent a picture of Bugsy staring up at the camera, adorably sad with his glassy eyes and his mouth upturned around his favourite chewtoy. Siwon embellished the image with fish prints and the words ‘Get well soon, Hae!  ~Fighting~!’ in red, loopy script. Donghae cough-giggled at the gesture.

 **Me:**  
_Thanks S <3 Bugsy doesn’t look happy _(◕︵◕)

 **Choi Siwon:**  
_I just threw out one of his old chewtoys in that pic. He ignored me for DAYS  
_ _Uh oh the manager’s here. Call you later? x_

Donghae paused. There was that pang in his chest again. In a burst of frustration and impulsive honesty, he typed the first thought that crossed his mind—

_Really wish you’d come here instead_

\--then deleted it immediately, alarmed by his selfishness. He eventually settled on a fairly standard message of  _OK, work hard!_ instead _._ (Siwon, on the other hand, replied with an uncharacteristic sticker of a cute, winking pony.)

Donghae threw his phone down with a sigh. His eyes flickered over to the sheepskin gloves at the foot of his bed.

A few nights before they left for Pyeongchang-eup, Siwon announced that his drama filming had been extended until Christmas, right over their winter shoot. He ended with a sad smile and an admission: ‘Sorry guys, but I’m not coming to Pyeongchang.’

Donghae can still vividly picture the anxiety and confusion on Siwon’s face when he did an about-turn and headed straight to his room without speaking another word.

The next day, he woke up to a hastily-wrapped gift by his bedside table. The card placed atop it read, ‘Something to keep you warm in Gangwon-do,’ in Siwon’s unmistakable cleanly printed writing. Donghae’s heart plummeted with guilt as he unwrapped a pair of beautiful tan winter gloves. Knowing Siwon, the gloves definitely cost as lush as they felt.

‘Geez, S. I’m tempted to act bratty more often if you’ll give me nice presents everytime,’ Eunhyuk teased Siwon over the phone later that day, to Donghae’s beet-red embarrassment.

 **‘** Well, Donghae’s special,’ Siwon replied simply.

Donghae and Eunhyuk ended that call with a shifty and slightly tense air about them, though nobody dared ask why Donghae had the flushed, pouting semblance of a puffy goldfish, or why Eunhyuk was giggling madly to himself, despite sporting a huge, vicious bruise on his arm.

*

It was almost dark, the setting sun lazing low on its bed of bleak-grey clouds, but Donghae had yet to hear from a single SuJu member, including manager-hyung, since Siwon’s last text in the afternoon.

Donghae punched the ‘End Call’ button for the sixth time that hour. With a growl, he opened a long, unread queue of messages and added, ‘LEE HYUK-JAE I WILL SEIOUSLY THROW ALL UR STUFF OUJT IN THE SNOW F U DON’T CALL ME BACK’

Along with, ‘AND TELL CINDRELLA ThAT INCLUDES HIS ASUKA BODY PILLOW BC IT SRSLY FREAKS ME OUT’

A few minutes later, Donghae’s phone rang. He immediately whipped the phone to his ear and thundered, ‘WHERE ON GOD’S EARTH ARE YOU??’

The answering chuckle was a low, warm baritone that was not at all the Hyukjae he expected. ‘That would have been more terrifying if you didn’t sound like an angry bullfrog.’

Donghae blinked. ‘Siwon?’

‘Heya.’

‘ _Siwon-ah!’_  Donghae wailed, one hand tearing at his hair. ‘I’ve been trying to call the members for over an hour and no one,  _not a single one,_  has picked up. Something  _must_  have happened,’ he concluded.

‘Er, Donghae-yah—‘

‘Maybe they got snowed in a cabin somewhere,’ Donghae continued, pacing anxiously over the possibilities. ‘Maybe the van broke down. Or they could’ve taken a wrong turn and drove—‘

' _Donghae-yah!’_   Siwon cut in loudly. ‘They’re fine. In fact, I’m  _positively_ sure they’re fine.’

Donghae paused. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Just… come out to the porch, would you?’

‘Why would I do that? It’s freezing!’

Siwon then broke into a breathy, nervous-sounding chuckle. ‘Because we’re right outside the front door.’

Right on cue, a sneeze that was  _definitely_ Hyukjae’s rattled both Donghae's ear and the front window.

With a puzzled frown, Donghae swiftly approached the door and threw it open, to reveal a pale, shivering, but brightly beaming bunch of ten idols, a manager, and, the towering figure of Choi Siwon himself, right in the middle.

‘Heya,’ Siwon greeted once more, his face split by a massive grin.

Donghae goggled at them in disbelief, until the initial shock tided over to a conflicting and confusing swell of emotions.

‘You _jerks,_ ’ Donghae shouted, before bursting into tears.

He was immediately enveloped by a flurry of arms, the members laughing and shouting 'Awwwww, Lee Donghae!' as he blubbered at them. He had buried his face in his hands, unsure of what to do with the relief, anger, and happiness bubbling up inside him all at once.

And at the heart of it all was Siwon. The other man had wrapped him in his famous bearhug, his chest warm and increasingly moist with Donghae’s tear-streaked cheeks. 'Sorry for making you worry,' he whispered in Donghae's ear. 'I--uh, I wanted to surprise you...'

Donghae weakly thumped Siwon's chest. 'You didn't need to, idiot,' he sniffled.

*

Perhaps, due to the stressful events of the previous day (and his attempt on _Asuka-chan_ ’s life, as Heechul spitefully remarked), Donghae's cold worsened further the next morning.

Siwon set down a mug of warm milk and a bowl of fruity porridge on Donghae’s bedside. With a sigh, he plopped down beside him on the bed. ‘Sorry, fishy. I think I made your cold worse,’ he said.

‘Don’t be silly,’ coughed Donghae, his voice muffled by a mask. ‘If anyone’s to blame for my cold, it’s Hyukjae and Kangin-hyung. Besides, I needed you here,’ he winked.

Siwon laughed, and bumped his knee against Donghae’s. ‘Think we did okay?’ he grinned.

 A pair of bloodcurdling screams—first Kangin’s, followed by Eunhyuk’s—pierced through the drowsy silence of the cabin.

Donghae grinned back. ‘I think we did  _better_  than okay.’


	3. Chapter 3

_ Another time, in the hospital (when Eunhyuk helped a little bit): _

At the count of three, Donghae grit out a tight-lipped grin. Four hospital nurses were crowded around him for a _groufie;_ they took a quick snap, then another, and another halfway-through, until an SM staff stepped in and politely shooed them away.

Behind them, a few more nurses stood beside a group of children. Some were on wheelchairs, and all were completely bald. They were lovely, friendly children, and throughout the visit they had sported shy grins as the SM idols awkwardly kneeled beside them for a photo-op. It almost seemed normal, but Donghae knew the situation was anything but.

These children, they have been told, were dying.

During his father’s illness, Donghae Skyped his family whenever he was able. He was young, new, and coming to terms with his life being micromanaged by his mobile phone’s calendar, so he found the video calls with his family a blessed relief, despite the miserable background of a white-washed hospital room where his mother, brother and the odd cousin were gathered around a bed. Gathered around _his dad_ , tucked in and tubed up with various bags and bottles of medications. Donghae always teared up the moment he saw his father on the screen, who would then begin their conversation customarily with a loud and embarrassing _‘There you are Donghae-yah, my beautiful boy!’_

His dad still had a little plump in his cheeks then, and was in high spirits as he cracked dad jokes and teased Donghae about his fans. (‘I have never seen a bigger group of cute girls… must be hard to pick just one, eh son?’) Sometimes, Donghae would notice that his father’s eyes were redder and more swollen than usual, or there were more cracks of exhaustion lining his face than the last time. He nagged, naturally, but his father would merely snort at him. _‘Don’t mind, don’t mind,_ ’ he would say every time.

On Leeteuk’s advice, Donghae called a few days before ‘U’ was released. Several calls to various members of the family went unanswered, and by his ninth attempt Donghae was dead certain something had gone terribly wrong. He was a heartbeat away from a panic attack when Donghwa picked up.

‘Hyung! You had me worried sick!’ Donghae said, near tears.

‘Sorry.’ Donghwa’s voice sounded strained over the line. ‘Dad just went through a rough patch during his session. He’s okay,’ his brother quickly added when Donghae let out a loud sob.

When he had calmed down after a few minutes, Donghae quietly asked, ‘Can I speak with him? Is he allowed to?’

His brother sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’ Donghae took that as a no. ‘But I swear he’s fine. Dad said he wants you to stop worrying and to keep focused.’

Donghae bit his lip, unconvinced.

‘Look. The family plans to watch the concert with Dad, here at the hospital. I’ll send pictures of Dad then, alright? We’re actually expecting a big crowd. With a few friends and neighbours, probably, because Dad.’ Donghwa chuckled then. It almost sounded desperate.

Despite his misgivings, Donghae gave in.

Donghwa called him first the next time, in the middle of an afternoon dance practice. It was a short call, but Donghae felt like he had cried for a long time. The pictures never came.

As he stared at his father behind the glass, Donghae realised that life was only as good as a moment.

It’s the same for these children, though Donghae. All it took was a wrong chemical reaction, a skip of a breath, then a flat line on a monitor…

Donghae startled when he felt a shy tug at the hem of his shirt. A bright-eyed girl with a small, pointed face stared up at him, her thin eyebrows knitted together. He remembered her name was Yoona (‘Like big sister Yoona from SNSD!’ she had said.) The nurses told Donghae that Yoona had a relapse of leukaemia. She was just eight years old.

‘Are you alright, big brother?’ she asked. ‘You look a bit sick.’

Donghae smiled wryly at the irony of the statement. ‘Just a bit tired, but I’ll be alright. Thanks for asking – Yoona, was it? Like big sister Yoona from SNSD?’

Her face lit up with a toothy smile, her thin cheeks dimpling. ‘I want to grow up to be just like her!’ She squealed excitedly.

‘You want to be an idol when you grow up?’

‘Nooooo.’ Yoona scuffed her hospital slippers on the carpeted floor, then whispered, ‘I want to be a _doctor._ A really, really good one. So I can cure my _dongsaengs_ and nobody will get sick anymore!’

Donghae felt his heart lodge itself in his throat.  ‘That... that’s a very nice dream, Yoona,’ he said.

'Ooh, awesome! A doctor-idol, just like me!’ Hyukjae piped in cheerfully from behind them. He was sporting Kyuhyun’s glasses and one of the assistant’s lab gowns, which was too short, even for him, and reached just a touch above his knees. A plastic stethoscope hung around his neck, without a doubt plundered from the enormous toy box at the corner.

‘Dr Anchovy!’ Yoona giggled.

‘Hello there, Dr Yoona,’ Hyukjae greeted. He then nodded thoughtfully at Donghae. ‘I see we have a patient. Hello, patient.’

‘You look ridiculous,’ Donghae said flatly.

Hyukjae shook his head in mock disgust. ‘What a naughty patient we have today. But naughty or nice, all patients must be treated, right?’

‘Of course!’

‘Of course. Let’s see what’s wrong with you, Mr Patient. Apart from your face, that is…’

Before Donghae could react, Hyukjae had slapped the diaphragm against his lips. ‘Hmmm…’ he murmured thoughtfully, and made a show of seriously examining Donghae’s cheeks, ear and nose, before declaring, ‘Yep, it’s just the face.’

‘Yah! You’re doing it all wrong, Doctor,’ Yoona scolded.

‘That so?’ Hyukjae scratched his head sheepishly. He carefully hung the toy stethoscope around the young girl’s shoulders. ‘Guess I’ll need your expert diagnosis, Dr Yoona.’

Yoona turned to Donghae with a professional smile of reassurance. ‘Take a big breath, big brother Donghae,’ she instructed. Donghae dutifully obeyed, and Yoona placed the diaphragm right over his heart, her face serious as she listened in.

After a few seconds of thoughtful humming, Yoona pulled away.

‘So! Do we need to perform a major facial surgery?’ Hyukjae suggestively waved a pack of neon-coloured sharpies.

‘His face is perfectly fine,’ said Yoona. (Donghae stuck out a tongue at Hyukjae behind Yoona’s back.) ‘Big brother is just a little tired, I think.’ She titled her head perceptively. ‘Maybe a little sad, too, like he misses someone?’

Donghae was stunned. ‘I, uh…‘ He paused nervously at Yoona and Hyukjae’s curious stares. ‘I-I think you may be right. A good friend of mine joined the army recently...’

Hyukjae tutted. Something about his expression told Donghae he knew exactly what Donghae’s problem was, and it wasn’t about Heechul’s enlistment. ‘NURSE!’ he called out.

After a few seconds, Choi Siwon loomed into view. His tall profile was topped with a bright pink nurse cap, a colourful and stone-studded _My Little Pony_ sticker emblazoned on the middle. He looked extremely unhappy.

‘I think this cap was totally unnecessary,’ he said.

‘Nevermind that for a moment—‘ said Hyukjae urgently, and pulled Siwon aside. The pair bumped their heads together in hushed conversation; Yoona and Donghae looked at each other, and shrugged.

Hyukjae finally straightened up. ‘Well, Big Brother Donghae, it seems you are suffering from a mild case of heartbreak.’

Donghae raised his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘Really? A _heartbreak?’_

Siwon nodded. ‘We need to take you to the emergency room for a moment. Hook you up to an IV line.’ He slapped Donghae’s bum for effect. ‘Come on, off we go.’

‘Aiya! what was that for?!’ Siwon wordlessly grabbed Donghae’s shoulders and bodily steered him out of the ward. ‘Hey!’

Yoona watched the bickering pair with a worried frown. ‘Is he going to be okay?’ she asked, her doctor role forgotten.

Hyukjae smiled, small and confident. ‘He’s in Siwon-ah's hands. I’m _positive_ he’ll be okay.’ He then crouched next to Yoona. ‘Say, want to make something that will _really_ make Big Brother Donghae happy?’

Yoona grinned brightly and raised her arms. ‘’Course I do!’

‘Right.’ Hyukjae pulled a child-sized chair and squirmed into it. ‘Here’s my idea…’

*

Donghae deftly caught the carton of orange juice that Siwon tossed at him.

‘Drink up,’ Siwon commanded. ‘Man, you look pale as a sheet.’

Donghae stared at the carton, then at the hands that held them, which were slightly shaking. He quickly punched the straw in and sipped, then grimaced as the syrupy-sweet flavour hit his tongue. It tasted like medicine.

Siwon sat beside him, a cold can of coffee in hand.

‘Hyuk was worried, you know,’ said Siwon after some time. ‘We all were, from the moment they announced this event. Leeteuk even tried talking management out of it, but they didn’t budge.’ He scowled. ‘ _Cancer patients._ How insensitive can they get?’

‘It’s OK, Wonnie-ah,’ Donghae squeezed his arm. ‘I can manage. And I got to meet a bunch of cute kids, so it’s not all bad.’

‘Even the kids can tell you don’t want to be here,’ Siwon pointed out.

Donghae bit his lip. Yoona _had_ noticed his gloomy mood. Was it really that obvious?

‘Stop trying to act cool, Donghae-ah,’ Siwon sighed. ‘You cried over some pretty stage lighting once, so don’t hold in your tears over something this seriously painful, alright?’

‘That was when Han Geng left us! I couldn’t help it!’ Donghae protested.

‘You were crying over _lights,_ ’ Siwon repeated. ‘I remember you crying over a broken pair of old earphones, too. The one that Kangin-hyung accidentally sat on…’

‘That was my brother’s Christmas present!’

‘ _Point_ _is_ , you’re a massive crybaby,’ said Siwon, matter-of-fact. Then his face eased into a smile, gentle and fond. 'You shouldn’t stop being a crybaby, Fishy. Not when you need to be. And not when it matters.’

Donghae looked away. His eyes felt a little wet, then. ‘You’re always the first to tease.’

‘Can’t help it. Your cheeks get red and puffy when you cry, it’s cute. See?’ He squished and pulled at Donghae’s cheeks.

‘Yah! Siwon-ah! Stop it!’ Donghae tried to fend him off, but Siwon had moved from his face to his tickle spot just below the ribs, a sneak move that sapped Donghae of all physical resistance. ‘Seriously— _ahahaha!_ —get off—‘

A loud cough finally made Siwon stop. A female SM staff looked at them sternly, but the twitch in her face betrayed her amusement. ‘Gentlemen, we’re about to wrap up this visit. Are you ready to go back in?’

Donghae looked at Siwon, who firmly nodded.

‘Yes, I’m ready,’ said Donghae. And this time, he meant it.

*

There were polite claps all around as the head doctor of the paediatric cancer centre finished his speech. The ward nurse, a motherly figure with lined eyes and a smile that looked oddly familiar, then stepped out front with a broad smile.

‘To our idols, our _friends_ , words can’t express our thanks for making our children happy with your visit. And dare I say it, for making our nurses happy, as well.’ The _groufie-_ taking nurses tittered in agreement.

‘Our children would like to give you a few tokens as thanks.’ She smiled even wider. ‘Small tokens, but I assure you that they come from the heart.’

There was a loud cheer as the children ran or wheeled towards the members, who each received a souvenir from the centre. Kyuhyun got a children’s book; Eunhyuk got the plastic stethoscope, a gift which he looked a little too happy about. Siwon received the special My Little Pony nurse cap, but that wasn’t all—the children had given him their _entire_ My Little Pony sticker book, too. ‘So you can pretend to be Rainbow Dash _or_ Twilight Sparkle anytime!’ explained one of the girls excitedly. Siwon dimpled his way through frustration.

Donghae was laughing loudly when a photo frame was shoved under his nose. Yoona looked up at him with a shy grin. ‘A present,’ she said.

‘Oh wow.’ Donghae took the frame in both hands, speechless. ‘Thank you, Yoona…’

‘Turn it over!’ she said, clapping her hands.

Donghae did, and gasped.

It was the sea.

It was the sea through a child’s eyes, a blue-coloured paper filled in with colourful seaweeds and unevenly-shaped starfishes. Strewn across the paper were triangular _origami_ fish in different colours and sizes. The fishes were labelled with the members’ names in small print: Kyuhyun was white; Eunhyuk was yellow (in parentheses, specifically labelled ‘Anchovy’). Donghae noticed that Siwon was missing, only to spot his name beside a seahorse, so vaguely drawn he initially mistook for a seaweed.

In the middle of the artwork were two big fishes. The left one was an orange fish with a white streak—a clownfish—while the right was coloured pink, and was slightly smaller. It had a small flower on top of its head. Unlike the others, the names beside it-- _Donghae_ and _Yoona_ \--were scripted carefully.

Donghae couldn’t help it. A tear slipped from his eye.

‘Why are you crying, Donghae-oppa?’ Yoona looked like she was about to cry, as well. ‘Hyuk-oppa said… he said the fish would make you happy…’

‘Sorry, I…’ he hiccupped. ‘I _am_ happy. Just a little overwhelmed...’

Hyukjae, wrapped an arm around Donghae’s shoulders, stethoscope proudly around his neck. ‘Don’t worry, Yoona. Tears are also a symptom of happiness. He gets them often.’

Siwon took the other side, still looking ridiculously handsome despite wearing a pink nurse cap with a gaily-coloured pony on it. He grinned playfully at Donghae. ‘He _is_ a crybaby.’

Donghae stuck a tongue out at Siwon. ‘Only when it matters, Siwon-ah.’ He looked at Yoona with a soft smile. ‘And this one does.’

 


	4. Chapter 4

_ That time, at a small shop in Hongdae, where they were all idiots: _

Donghae glared at Euhnyuk across the table and hissed, 'What are we going to do?’

'Shut up. I'm thinking.'

'Well, think faster!’ Donghae peeked furtively at the waiter by the counter. The man was in the same position he was in five minutes ago: arms crossed, biceps bulging, unsmiling. And his dead-black eyes were staring right at them.

'Hyuk, I think he's onto us...'

'You keep on whispering and acting suspiciously! Of course he's onto us!'

'Oh, now it's my fault when _you’re_ the genius who came up with this idea?'

'You weren't complaining five minutes ago.'

'THIS wasn't part of the plan!'

'Don't point those at me!' Hyuk angrily rapped at the pair of chopsticks Donghae had waved for emphasis. This naturally escalated into a full-blown chopsticks tussle, the pair of them growling as the metal utensils clashed and scraped against each other. Nasal giggles from a pair of ajhummas brought them back to their senses, and Eunhyuk and Donghae lowered their weapons, self-conscious.

The idea was not exactly a bad one when Eunhyuk hatched it on him earlier that evening. They were watching a random documentary about Japan, Donghae himself only half-attentive as he surfed through Instagram, until a Japanese restaurant flickered onto the screen and the camera macro-focused on a hot bowl of sultry, greasy ramen. Donghae's stomach had growled loudly at the enticing visual.

'Let's go out and have some,' said Eunhyuk.

'Ramen? Don't we have some in the cupboard?'

'No, you idiot. I meant real ramen. Like eat out. There’s an excellent ramen shop in Hongdae...'

'At this time of night? Hongdae's some distance from here, Hyuk.'

'We'll drive. C'mon, I'll treat you!'

The offer made Donghae uneasy. 'You're being nice. Why are you being nice?'

Eunhyuk huffed. 'Fine, if you're going to be like that—'

'Okay, okay, we go,' said Donghae, his hands raised in a conciliatory manner. Maintaining good terms with his only companion for the night who also happened to be a potential source of free food seemed like the smartest thing to do.

Hongdae was a university district known for its hip nightlife that pulsed with gigs, general university binge-drinking and coffee shop conversations deconstructing art installations. Even at a late hour in drizzly weather, the place was buzzing with art students, most of them flocked around pubs and hole-in-the-wall cafes.

'We're going to get recognised,' Donghae said worriedly.

'Nah, they're too drunk. Or too cool for idols.' Eunhyuk peered up. 'We should turn right about here...'

They parked across a small, dimly-lit establishment. Donghae initially mistook its ramshackle, rotting wood exterior for a DIY store until he spotted the faded Japanese signage on top. It read _Hakate Bunko_ , if his Japanese was correct.

‘It’s alright,’ said Eunhyuk when he sensed Donghae’s discomfort. ‘I’ve seen how long the queues get during lunch and dinners. Here,’ Eunhyuk showed an Instagram photo of a steaming bowl of milky-white ramen _._ ‘It’s perfectly safe. And delicious.’

Donghae remained unconvinced. ‘If I get food poisoning, it’s on your conscience.’

A chorus of ‘Irrashaimase!’s greeted them beyond the _noren_ entrance. The shop interior was a marked improvement, and Donghae had eyed the clean tables, floors and walls with immense relief. They slid into an empty table by the door, which kept them slightly isolated them from the remaining customers.

‘Two Een Ramen!’ Eunhyuk called out, rubbing his hands gleefully, before Donghae could even glance at the menu card.

Moments later, a thick-browed, stone-faced giant lumbered towards them with two steaming bowls of ramen and various dishes of sides and toppings. He placed one bowl in front Donghae, his finger a hair away from the broth.

Eunhyuk giggled as he filmed a scandalised Donghae with his phone. Donghae tried to snatch it away, but Eunhyuk hid it behind him in a frustrating display of lightning-quick reflexes. ‘It’s to let the other boys know what they’re missing,’ said Eunhyuk. ‘Go on, try it!’

Donghae scowled at him before peering down at his soup. After a beat of hesitation, he ladled some broth and gingerly brought the spoon to his lips.

His eyes widened. The ramen was, to his great disbelief, mind-numbingly _delicious._

‘There we are. “The moment Fishy realised that Hyukjae was right”,’ Eunhyuk captioned.

Donghae stuck out a tongue. ‘Just shut up and eat.’

And Hyuk gladly complied, his face contorting into weird expressions of delight as he sucked on a noodle noisily. They paused whenever Hyuk’s phone pinged for notifications, to laugh at the expense of the other SuJu members dying with envy. (Yesung, ever the Japanophile, was literally flooding their chat group with emoji tears).

Eunhyuk ordered another bowl, which they shared and enjoyed just as much as the first one. Donghae was starting to begrudgingly accept that Hyukjae _could_ get it right, sometimes.

Until Hyuk thought about checking his cash and reached into his back pocket.

He froze, then began patting his other pockets frantically, his slits-for-eyes becoming wider as the truth slowly unfurled.

Donghae shook his head slowly. ‘Oh Hyukjae, you didn’t.’

But Eunhyuk did. He had left his wallet at the dorm.

Eunhyuk ran off to the car to check, but he had no such luck. Donghae must have mouthed the most obscenities since he first joined SuJu during that moment.

Which brought them to their present predicament.

‘I still say we call Siwon,’ said Eunhyuk.

‘ _No,_ ’ Donghae said vehemently. ‘He was practically _begging_ us not to disturb him tonight.’

‘I know he’s supposedly seeing an old friend,’ Eunhyuk quoted ‘old friend’ in the air for emphasis, ‘But this is an emergency!’

‘I am NOT calling him.’

‘You’re seriously passing up a wonderful opportunity to sabotage the thing? Oh, don’t lie,’ he snorted at Donghae’s affronted expression. ‘You’re not entirely happy about Siwonnie’s little date, are you?’

Donghae bit his lip. Of course he wasn’t happy. He was terrified by the very idea, but Hyukjae didn’t need to know that. ‘The date makes him happy, which is what matters. So I’m not calling him, Hyukjae.’

‘Fine,’ Eunhyuk rolled his eyes and stood up. ‘ _I’ll_ give it a try. We don’t have much choice anyways.’

Donghae watched Eunhyuk step outside. They really didn’t have much choice. The other SuJu members were in Malaysia for a promotional meet-and-greet; Donghae, Eunhyuk and Siwon were left behind due to their conflicting obligations—Donghae and Eunhyuk had D&E promotional work, while Siwon had a taping session for Running Man.

Siwon, however, had been acting suspiciously for days, sneaking out calls during practices and dinners, at times discreetly shielding texts from the members’ prying eyes. It was unusual that no one called it out—a benefit of their hectic schedule, maybe—but Donghae saw Leeteuk pull Siwon aside one time for a private chat, so he knew not all the members were oblivious to Siwon’s odd behaviour.

Then again, it was just a date. If all went well, Siwon will probably just have less time for him and the other members (the man already had too little as it is), and when they _do_ go out Siwon will probably bring the girl along, and if he doesn’t he’ll talk about her and just her to no end, and Donghae would have to suffer in silence until he inevitably snaps… ~~~~

Maybe Donghae was overreacting.

Eunhyuk returned with a telling grimace on his face. ‘He’s not even picking up, the bastard,’ said Eunhyuk. ‘I told you, _you_ should be calling him.’

‘Me? What difference would that make?’

‘Because Siwon’s a big softie when it comes to you,’ said Eunhyuk, matter-of-fact. ‘Remember that time when you threw a fit over Gangwon-do? Yeah, had that been me he would’ve cruelly laughed and called me an idiot.’

Donghae stared at his mobile phone. Siwon does give in to Donghae a little more easily than the others. But he didn’t want to abuse that card, not on the rare night when Siwon finally asked something for himself.

He looked at Eunhyuk’s desperate face, then at the brawny waiter who looked no less menacing despite being momentarily distracted by paying customers, and settled for a compromise.

Donghae pulled up his messaging app. ‘I’m just going to text him,’ Donghae clarified at the expectant look on Eunhyuk’s face.

Donghae typed in the first few letters, deleted them, then re-typed another line, until he finally settled for:

_Siwon-ah, we need a little help._

Donghae swallowed thickly. _We’ve just finished dinner at this restaurant called Hakate Bunko in Hongdae but Hyukjae left his wallet at the dorm and we have no money to pay it with..._

 _I know you’re busy tonight, but we’re desperate_. _We can wait until your date is over. I’m Really REALLY R E A L L Y sorry. Hyuk and I owe you dinner for like a month…_ (*´･人･*)

Donghae sent the text before he could change his mind. ‘If he doesn’t speak to me for a week it’s your fault,’ he said to Eunhyuk scathingly.

‘I’ll take an angry Siwon over waiter Hulk in smash mode.’

Minutes passed, but Donghae still didn’t receive a reply. He knew he had no right to expect, but it was hard to stop the disappointment creeping up his chest like a poisonous vine.

'He's probably just... in the toilet. He'll call soon,' said Eunhyuk lamely, his tone belying his waning confidence.

Donghae groaned. He hated,  _hated_  Siwon's secret date for causing him _this_ sort of emotional trouble.

They ended up watching an episode of City Hunter and ordering extra plates of gyoza to distract themselves from the stress. Donghae checked his phone every so often, and time only seemed to move slower with the wait.

They were arguing over the last piece of gyoza (‘I’m going to throw up on you if you make me eat it,’ Donghae threatened) when things took a turn for the worse.

‘Hey,’ the Hulk boomed. ‘You two finished yet?’

Eunhyuk and Donghae looked up at him with sheer terror in their eyes.

‘Yes.’ ‘No.’

‘ _Yes_ , we’re just about finished,’ Eunhyuk clarified.

‘Good. Because we’re about to close,’ said the Hulk shortly.

Donghae looked around the shop. They were the last customers left.

‘Oh,’ he squeaked. ‘W-We’ll get the bill, then,’

The Hulk grunted and walked to the cashier. Donghae and Eunhyuk took the opportunity to panic.

 _‘_ We’re in a very, _very_ bad spot, Fishy. Call him.’

‘Siwon-ah didn’t reply. I don’t think he—‘

‘That guy will literally break us in half if he finds out we’re broke,’ Eunhyuk whispered hotly. _‘Call. Him.’_

Donghae was still thinking of a counter-argument when the wooden door suddenly clacked open. Siwon stepped into the shop, sopping wet and panting heavily. The moment was so vivid, like a scene straight out of a drama where the handsome leading man arrives at the last moment, just when his girl was about to give up and leave. Donghae swore he could even see the crowning light around Siwon’s beautiful head.

‘FINALLY!’ Eunhyuk cried. ‘God, I’m so damn relieved I can kiss you right now...’

Siwon pulled a face. ‘Save it for Donghae. He’s the only reason I’m here.'

Donghae’s ears turned red with embarrassment.

‘Well you sure took your sweet time. We were starting to worry.’

‘In case you haven’t noticed, Hyukjae, it’s pouring outside...’

‘It’s alright, Siwon-ah,’ Donghae said meekly. ‘I should be sorry for ruining your date night.’

Siwon snorted and shook his head. ‘Idiot _, y_ ou have nothing to be sorry for.’ He pulled out his wallet as the Hulk came over with the bill. ‘Besides, date’s not going well anyway.’

Donghae looked up. ‘It wasn’t?’

Siwon pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Let’s just say I owe you a favour for bailing me out.’

The Hulk threw a dark, accusing glare at Donghae and Eunhyuk as he handed the bill to Siwon _(‘Oh my God he knows,_ ’ Eunhyuk whispered). Siwon took a sweeping glance at the bill, rolled his eyes at Eunhyuk, and slipped his card onto the tray.

The Hulk merely stared at the card blankly. ‘We only take cash,’ he said.

Lightning cracked, illuminating the startled look on Siwon's face, and Donghae _immediately_ knew.

He smiled at the Hulk sweetly. 'Have you, by any chance, heard of this awesome idol group called Super Junior? I hear their autographs sell for an insane amount...'


End file.
